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The Missing Text

Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree Discussing things as they’re said to be
Said one to the others, “Now listen you two, There’s a certain rumour that can’t be true;
That man descended from our noble race The very idea is a disgrace
No monkey ever deserted his wife Starved her babies and ruined her life
And you’ve never known a mother monk To leave her babies with others to bunk
Or pass them on from one to another Still they scarcely know who is their mother

And another thing you’ll never see A monk build a fence ‘round a coconut tree
And let the coconuts go to waste Forbidding all other monkeys a taste
Why, if I’d put a fence ‘round the tree Starvation would force you to steal from me
Here’s another thing a monk won’t do Go out at night and get on a stew
Or use a gun or a club or a knife To take some other monkey’s life
Yes, man descended, the ornery cuss But brother he,didn’t descend from us!”

(Author unknown)
From , So many religions! Why? By Henry Feyerabend
Gabriel came to the Lord and said:"Ah have to talk to you, yes. It have some Trinidadians up here in Heaven who causing real problems.

Dey swinging on the Pearly Gates, ...meh horn missing, ...'Oil-Down' all over dey robe; cow-heel, chicken foot and pigtail bones all over the Streets of Gold.

Some ah dem walkin around with one wing saying 'is ah style'. Dey late taking turn keeping de stairway to Heaven clean, it have ah setta watermelon seed all over the clouds and dem.

Dey only playing ah setta soca an dub, some ah dem protesting saying dat they entitled to public holidays and carnival. Some ah dem ent wearing dey halos, saying 'it doh fit with dey hairstyles".

The Lord said, "I made them special, as I did you, my angel. Heaven is home to all my children. If you really want to know about problems, let's call up the Devil.


The devil answered the phone: "Hello? Yes, Lord ..wha de mudda!!! ..... hole on a minute". The devil returned to the phone and said, " Yeah Lord, wha yuh want?"The Lord replied, "Tell me what kinds of problems you are having down there".

The devil said: "Ooohh... hole on... hole on, eh" and he put the Lord on hold.After 5 minutes he returned to the phone, and said: "Eh heh... wha'it is yuh arks meh jus now?"The Lord said: "What kinds of problems are you having down there?"

The devil said: "Buh wah de ....look, hole on" This time the devil was gone for 15 minutes.The devil returned and said: "Look man ah cyah talk to yuh right now nah ...Dem blasted Trinidadians and dem out de fire again, and dey installing air conditioning in meh place!!![
FM

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