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Jaggabatitis spreading

https://guyanachronicle.com/20...gabatitis-spreading/

Friday Musingsâ€Ķ
JAGGABAT is usually used in the Caribbean to describe an ugly person, and it’s also not a complimentary description for a woman in a certain kind of trade. But I have heard it used here too in reference to persons who generally do not know what they are about. You know, people like dimwits, slackers, morons, those full of their own self-importance and suchlike.You hear someone say, “Don’t worry about him, boy; he’s a jaggabat” and you get the picture. No need for any of those fancy words.
Jaggabats are all over the world, and they are usually not of much concern, unless they are afflicted by attacks of Jaggabatitis.
There’s no known cure for treating Jaggabatitis, and local doctors are trying to determine if it is contagious, because it seems to be spreading in Guyana.No, no, no. I am not talking about the dreadful flu that has been flooring a lot of people here and in other countries.And while the Health Ministry has issued advisories to help keep dengue fever in check, it has already confirmed that there’s no outbreak of whooping cough here.
So, please do not go around looking askance at people who may have the flu, thinking they are jaggabats, even though jaggabats are also prone to contracting the flu.Medical sources say Jaggabatitis affects only jaggabats, and normal people are not likely to catch it.
The danger for normal people from those with Jaggabatitis is the profuse piffle the victims are wont to spittle and sputter.If you are not careful and discerning, you can be swamped by the froth that flows from the mouth of the afflicted, and you don’t need me to tell you what you are most likely to do to someone spitting spittle in your face without let.I’m sure you won’t be rushing down to a nearby store selling cheap umbrellas to try to protect yourself from any Jaggabatitis downpour.
Like me, you will more likely want to pelt a slap, and fling a kick to stop the perpetrator.
But on reflection, and after consulting some medical sources, I recommend a sympathetic approach to those afflicted with Jaggabatitis. Commiserate with them, and have pity for them for they are suffering from a dreadful disease.And when you are watching TV, have your remote handy for when the jaggabats pop up on the screen.Medical experts say it’s easy to spot jaggabats suffering from Jaggabatitis on TV. Watch and listen closely, and you will be able to tell from the goobledygook that begins spilling from their mouth in under a minute.
I watched fascinated the other night at the repeat performance of a so-called TV talk show `host’ who is obviously suffering from a severe and advanced case of Jaggabatitis and wondered why those close to him have not yet put him in a home for special care.The poor chap is so obviously delusional that it’s a shame that his loved ones have not been able to wean him off his addiction to the airwaves.
As I watched him, it dawned on me that I have seen several like him recently, and that led me to thinking that this Jaggabatitis sickness is indeed spreading among jaggabats.Praise be to the Most High that I can change channels and swiftly turn pages of the newspapers or surf other websites on the Internet when I spot jaggabats displaying severe Jaggabatitis.Medical sources said an effective TV remote, and being alert in scouring the newspapers and the Internet are the best vaccines to keep the jaggabats at bay.Be on the alert, and please remember to mix caution with sympathy for them.

Django
Last edited by Django

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