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35. The Lab Scientist. He laid me down on the couch and caressed me for a very long time. He began with a gentle approach, but soon made it clear that his confidence and knowledge would leave me speechless. Perhaps he’s the best I’ve ever had.

For the short-term, and while my grief prevents me from planning too far ahead, fleeting connections and temporary gratification bring me great comfort. Finding any sort of genuine pleasure after the sudden loss of my favorite person feels triumphant. Without Jacob, it has been hard to celebrate my victories. He did everything in his power to bring me happiness, and in his absence I am finding a way to make my own. I’m confident that he would be proud of me for paving a path to survival, however taboo my approach.

FM
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