Leonora posted:When my son was in Univ., I jokingly told him you just go, excel, bring home As, and I'll do all the admin work -- pay the tuition, etc. So said, so done. I've never denigrated him; always portraying him as my pride and joy. I have a huge photo of him in my home. All these things do wonders for children's self esteem. Everyone wants to know how I raised such a fine boy -- it's just innate, the way we were brought up. All thanks to my dear Mom resting in heaven; she never went past primary school but could carry on a conversion with the brightest and best; solved many village disputes; arranged many marriages; helped many young people get visas to North America; etc. She's my role model and what she passed on to me is what I passed on to my son.
would you have a big picture of him if he did not do so well?
This kid was not doing well...so he felt a sense of shame. It's all well and good if your kids do well...what happens if he/she is not doing well?