Your low self esteem is truly tearing you apart. Only a matter of time before you completely run mad. The signs are already showing and growing stronger with each passing day. No one sees Stormborn constantly pleading with anyone for acceptance like you do harping on some long passed compliment perhaps given at the time as a form of charity. Now you stupidly hold on to it as if it is the very oxygen you need to continue living. You are truly a very pathetic person. Get some professional help before you pose a danger to others.