Tonight I start Xmas Practice..ahem...

For the singers,ignore the chords ()

 

Ah One.. Ah Two.. Ah Tree..

 

 

 

It's The Most Fattening Time Of The Year             Bob Rivers



It’s the (D)most (Bm)fattening (Em)time of the (D)year Bm   Em   A       

With that (Em)pumpkin pie (A)filling and (D)everyone swilling down (G)eggnog and beer

It’s the (D)most (Bm)fattening (Em)time of the (D)year

It’s the (D)lip (Bm)smackingest (Em)season of (D)all          Bm   Em…A

while your (Em)shopping you’re (A)cheating im(D)pulsively eating that (G)junk at the mall      

It’s the (D)he..(Bm)..av-heaviest (Em)season of (D)all

There’ll be (G)turkeys for basting
and (D)stuffing for (Bm)tasting
and (Em)giblets and (A) gravy will (D) flow
there’ll be (Gm)cookies that (C)mom baked
and (F)leftover fruit (Dm)cake from a (Em)christmas a (Bb)long time ago  Em  A

it’s the (D) scale (Bm) flattening (Em) time of the (D) year         Bm  Em  A

while your (Em)diet you’re (A) blowing there’s (D)calories going straight

(G) down to your rear (G#dim7)

it’s the (D) scale (Bm)flattening (Em) time (A)of the (D) year-r-r-r

there’ll be (G) after meal dosing and (D) arteries (Bm) closing
(Em) cholesterol (A) levels will (D) grow
it’s too (Gm)cold to go (C) jogging too (F) brisk for to (Dm) bogganing
so (Em7b5)pass me a (Bb) hot buttered (Em) roll  (A)

It’s the (D)most (Bm)fattening (Em)time (A)of the (D) year         Bm  Em  A
All those (Em)gingerbread (A) shingles and (D)chocolate Chris Kringle’s will (G)tremble in fear
It’s the (D)most (Bm)fattening (Em)time,    it’s the (D)belt (Bm)loosening (Em)time,
it’s the (D)most (Bm)fattening (Em)time (A)of the (D) year…Bm…Em…A

Original Post

The Restroom Door Said 'Gentlemen'

(sung to the tune "God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen")

by Bob Rivers

 

(Am) The restroom door said 'Gentlemen'    So I just walked inside.

 

I took two steps and realized        I'd been taken for a ride.

 

I heard high voices, turned and found      The place was occupied

 

By three nuns, two old ladies and a nurse. What could be worse

 

Than three nuns, two old ladies and a nurse?

 

 

The restroom door said 'Gentlemen'   It must have been a gag.

 

As soon as I walked in there,        I ran into some old hag.

 

She sprayed me with a can of mace    And hit me with her bag.

 

It just wasn't turning out to be my day.   What can I say?

It just wasn't turning out to be my day!

 

 

The restroom door said 'Gentlemen'   And I would like to find

 

The crummy little creep        Who had the nerve to switch the sign.

 

Because I've got two black eyes      And one high heel up my behind.

 

Now I'll never sit in comfort or joy.      Boy oh boy!

 

Now I'll never sit in comfort or joy.

 

Originally Posted by Amral:

lol bro you should record them and upload the clips to YouTube

Next Feb I'm working on one with my son out in Calgary, my own tunes. I goin out there and the man heading out to Hawaii for nine days stickin my rass in the cold out there to mind my grankids...two rice eaters.

Hear nuh. The banna lives in what seems a predominantly Muslim hood N.E so is like not leaving TO, hehehe

Originally Posted by cain:

Oh yeah. Plus dat is de only two songs dem ah know, so I gotta sing dem over an over an if is not Christmas time it doan be a good fit.

Some people wrote and sung only one Christmas tune and their descendants still making money from it. Two tunes is a luxury.

Mr.T posted:
Originally Posted by cain:

Oh yeah. Plus dat is de only two songs dem ah know, so I gotta sing dem over an over an if is not Christmas time it doan be a good fit.

Some people wrote and sung only one Christmas tune and their descendants still making money from it. Two tunes is a luxury.

Dem two songs were written by "Bob Rivers" not me banna.

cain posted:
Mr.T posted:
Originally Posted by cain:

Oh yeah. Plus dat is de only two songs dem ah know, so I gotta sing dem over an over an if is not Christmas time it doan be a good fit.

Some people wrote and sung only one Christmas tune and their descendants still making money from it. Two tunes is a luxury.

Dem two songs were written by "Bob Rivers" not me banna.

20151128_170811

Have not touched my guitar for a week until a min ago....was in the middle of the country and almost turned into an icicle.

 

 

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