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17. The Barber. Big, big flirt. A great build. While admiring my skin and the thrill of being with an Indian woman for the first time, he called me β€œmorena.” Unmatched me after I made him dinner.

I didn’t want to care about meeting people’s expectations of how I should think, feel and act. But of course, it hurt to know that people who had never been in my position had specific ideas about the amount of time that should pass before I opened my heart (or legs) to another person. I plotted for five months before my first encounter.

In looking for eligible sexual partners with the skills and passion to meet my needs, I tried to find a bright side. I skipped entertaining them over dinner and drinks, opting for an open discussion via text about my rules. It had to be safe and consensual. I am nurturing and open-minded, and wanted to feel respected.

FM
Last edited by Former Member

35. The Lab Scientist. He laid me down on the couch and caressed me for a very long time. He began with a gentle approach, but soon made it clear that his confidence and knowledge would leave me speechless. Perhaps he’s the best I’ve ever had.

For the short-term, and while my grief prevents me from planning too far ahead, fleeting connections and temporary gratification bring me great comfort. Finding any sort of genuine pleasure after the sudden loss of my favorite person feels triumphant. Without Jacob, it has been hard to celebrate my victories. He did everything in his power to bring me happiness, and in his absence I am finding a way to make my own. I’m confident that he would be proud of me for paving a path to survival, however taboo my approach.

FM

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