16 Signs You Are At A South Asian Wedding

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January 16, 2014 11:31 AM

16 Signs You Are At A South Asian Wedding

No boxed gifts please. posted on January 14, 2014 at 12:40pm EST

1. The bride’s jewelry is worth more than your entire college education:

16 Signs You Are At A South Asian Wedding

2. The wedding will never start on time. A 6 p.m. invitation actually means 8 p.m.:

The wedding will never start on time. A 6 p.m. invitation actually means 8 p.m.:

For further reference: “Desi Standard Time”

3. Someone is throwing shade at someone:

 
 
 
 

4. There is a mutiny if the food is not buffet style:

 

5. Speaking of food, there are 10 out of 10 chances you will be eating biryani:

Speaking of food, there are 10 out of 10 chances you will be eating biryani:

#win

6. There is always an “aunty” who comes up to all the single people and asks, “When are you getting married?” or says, “You’re next!”

 

#moreshade

7. Or you’ve been dragged to this wedding by your parents so they can set you up with someone:

Or you've been dragged to this wedding by your parents so they can set you up with someone:

Translation: “Someone has asked for your hand in marriage.”
Further Translation: “FML”

8. The invitation says “no boxed gifts please”:

 

It means we want cash.

9. There are hooligan children everywhere. There is no concept of a “kids table”:

 

10. There is always a coordinated dance-off between the groom’s side and bride’s side:

16 Signs You Are At A South Asian Wedding

Fun fact: South Asians have been flash-mobbing for centuries.

11. There is no such thing as a small, intimate wedding. There are 300 guests minimum:

There is no such thing as a small, intimate wedding. There are 300 guests minimum:

12. Did I mention an average wedding includes, like, five events? Completely clear the month of June, people:

Did I mention an average wedding includes, like, five events? Completely clear the month of June, people:

#joy

13. If you are at a South Asian wedding in America, there is always one table of non-South Asian co-workers and friends who always look equal parts amazed and confused:

16 Signs You Are At A South Asian Wedding

14. There is excessively sappy Bollywood music playing throughout the wedding:

 

Barf.

15. The mother of the bride is an emotional wreck:

16 Signs You Are At A South Asian Wedding

16. And, of course, photography and videography are essential. You want to remember every moment:

And, of course, photography and videography are essential. You want to remember every moment:

 

 
 
 
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Member
 
January 16, 2014 11:42 AM

Ok next time I is go to a wedding I are goin look fo them this hay signs

 
 
 
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Senior Member
 
January 16, 2014 11:51 AM

The BEST Weddings on the Planet.

 
 
 
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I pity the fool
 
January 16, 2014 12:41 PM

The Indian weddings that I have been to in England were absolutely rubbish. I cannot remember going to a single one where I enjoyed the food or the atmosphere. When I tell them people how we do Indian weddings in Guyana and Suriname they don't believe me.

 
 
 
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GNI VIP Member
 
January 16, 2014 7:57 PM

Suriname weddings are a serious affair....Bhaita Ghana for so!!

All night Saturday night and then into Sunday with the bride and groom.

 

I love my Suriname weddings.

 
Last edited by Chief January 16, 2014 7:57 PM
 
 
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